I cannot believe how big Emma has become. When did my precious baby miracle grow into a toddler with opinions and desires of her own? It is less than a month until she turns a year old. She is walking, eating solid foods, she has quite a sense of humor, she loves to dance and explore, and she has a vocabulary of over 15 words. Amazing!
I am so blessed to have this time at home with her. I get to watch EVERYTHING she does - I don't have to miss any of it! I keep dreaming about school - either teaching, or getting called back. But I am sure that it will not happen this year. I am anxious as we go through so many changes in our lives right now. The house is up for sale. We've had two offers so far - nowhere near what we owe on the house. We are looking for something to rent or possibly a foreclosure or HUD house to buy. I'd like to say that I do not care where we end up, but something inside me KNOWS that I'm going to have to LIVE there - so it better be nice or make-nice-able. We've lived in a house where we were on top of each other. I don't want that again. But I am looking forward to having less space to clean and the lack of space forcing us to spend time together. Right now, Evan can spend all the time he wants in the bonus room where he has his own toys, television, and video games. I rarely see him unless I make him spend time with me. Which, truthfully, I do quite frequently. I also make him get outside and play - although I have discovered that he is spending the time INside someone else's house! Teenagers...
Ugh...I am going to be the mother of a teenager! I cannot possibly be old enough for that. He must belong to someone else.
Joel is still looking for employment outside of Benton Harbor. He is excited about some of the changes that are occurring there, though, and is considering staying for only 7 more years to gain a partial retirement. I am worried that I will love being home over the next year so much that I just won't want to go back to teaching until Emma is older. There are worse things in life. We ran a budget this past weekend and we CAN afford for me to be home if we get into a cheap place to live after this. Can you imagine a house payment of only $200-$300?!? That would be amazing - considering our payments right now are $2500!!!
We started trying to conceive another child. I took Clomid this past cycle, but never had a positive ovulation test. For the past week my ovaries have just felt HEAVY - like lots of follicles developed but none of them turned into eggs. I am probably going to have to go back on Weight Watchers and lose some weight in order to get pregnant again. I tried running for a little while, but I just can't find a time where it fits well in my schedule. A couple times I got up early (before Emma) and did it, but I was exhausted by Emma's nap time. So then I switched to running after I put her down for bed, but falling asleep became difficult! Joel got me a jogging stroller, but it is SUPER uncomfortable to run with it. I prefer to have my hands free. Then again, I am probably just looking for an excuse so that I don't have to do anything physical - which is so self-defeating but dang it all it makes me happy to be lazy! But if I really want another child, I'll find a way to make it work...
Erin is coming today with the boys. They are going to stay the entire week! Yay! I am very excited to spend time with her and Emily and all the kids. Surprisingly, Kayla has been at Erin's house for the past two weeks and I REALLY have missed her! I enjoy the company of my nieces. :)
I ordered a new camera this past weekend - Canon Rebel XSi. I am so excited for it to come because I want to start learning how to do things with it. I think I'll check the Arts Council to see if there are any classes coming up. At first I was just looking for something to take good pictures of the kids with, but I really think I'd like to try to learn to do some professional photography as well. I need to earn a little extra money if I'm not going to be teaching!
Speaking of teaching - I have done quite a bit of tutoring this summer. I've actually really enjoyed it! I use to say that 1 hour once a week was enough - but I've now realized that for the kids who really need the help, they should be tutored 3 times a week at a minimum. Unfortunately, this gets to be expensive for parents! I use to feel guilty about how much I charge to tutor - but I had to remind myself that I am a certified teacher with classroom experience. Those who charge less than me do not have the qualifications I have. So basically, you pay for what you get! If there were a market for it, I would tutor to earn extra money from now on. I LOVE having the one-on-one time with a student. It is so much easier than trying to teach 25 at a time! It makes me look forward to Emma getting older. I will be such a different Mom to her than I was to Evan because I know so much more now! I'm excited to teach her things - so I guess that growing up isn't all that bad. There are things to look forward to. But I still can't help looking back and feeling nostalgic for the time that has already passed.
